We trip over, and loop through, an internal feedback system of thought, perception, and emotion and call it our reality…. It’s quite compelling and we are often unable to see outside this thing we have created to be “me.”
We understand, intuitively, that the soul is the deepest aspect of our being. When we have been emotionally wounded we feel it is “sick”. Sometimes this manifests as physical sickness as well. To heal our soul is not just a lighthearted jaunt though a well groomed garden, plucking dead blooms from their stocks, it is hacking through the densest, darkest, jungle to find our light again. It’s looking into the abyss of who we truly are, claiming the darkness these wounds have generated, and its reclaiming our divinity.
As our souls heal, by our transcending and integrating our dualities, they evolve. In the Andean traditions this is called increasing our state of ayni, our highest state being when we are congruent with Source. It doesn’t work to emphasize our light aspects, while burying our darkness through negation, that fuels more separation and duality. It is about taking ownership of what we externalize. Whatever we perceive happening outside is happening inside first. Perhaps we are in scarcity, for example. Were we cursed by some angry or jealous family member, or is it because we are unconsciously punishing ourselves for things we have not yet forgiven ourselves for? Perhaps we are blocking abundance because we are uncomfortable receiving, or we believe we are unworthy or undeserving. We cannot heal when we externalize these problems, putting them at the feet of others, instead of owning them.
We think of a spiritual path as being one of austerity and principle, of selflessness and even martyrdom. We carry rice bowls and give our gifts away for free. Many choose vows of poverty and chasteness, even. Give up your worldly pursuits and prostrate yourself in Service! If you look deeply into the spiritual path of Andean Mysticism, however, you will see that all this self denial actually takes us out of alignment with Source.
The worst thing we can do is put our needs in shadow insisting we have none. Many wives, mothers, and healers find themselves here, many overworked fathers and indulgent husbands, many social workers. In not defining strong boundaries, and a vibrant sense of self, however, our persona becomes entangled in a web of self denial. This is very different than selflessness. Self denial is just that, saying we have no needs when in fact we do. From the Andean perspective we are each souls who came in to evolve. The journey, from this perspective, is about being in integrity with ourselves so we can be congruent with what created us. This means we must be keenly aware of who we are.
A million things call out to be done before the day ends, and then it all starts up again tomorrow. Your life has routine, a rhythm, and it sweeps you up and pushes you along. You have a roof over your head and food to eat, so on you persevere, feeding the beast, doing what it takes, but ultimately, it sucks a little bit of life from you each day.
Even when we do stop and take a breath we are most often thinking about what comes next, or how to improve on what we already have. We go to a yoga class to relax, and find ourselves needing to master that next yoga pose, or we sit down to meditate and wonder if we have reached the furthest dimension of the astral planes yet. We are doers living lives aimed at accomplishment, and we are striving for success. Until we stop and find the beauty in it, however, we will have very little peace.
Beauty is not just an aesthetic, but it is a vibration, the resonance inside of a moment. It is a sensation that stops us in our tracks with its radiance and transports us to another realm. It is inspiration, an experience of pure essence, a transient state of breathless perfection, that exists just outside of time. Integrating positivity with negativity, a wholeness of darkness and light, beauty is a transcendent dance with the senses.
A psychological counselor can be an invaluable ally when we are sorting through our emotions and looking for ways to better cope with our wounds. It is comforting to have a neutral, anonymous person to talk to, and someone who can help us root through our stuff to get a better handle on it. Why then, would you see a shamanic healer? The short answer is, you still feel wounded. Counselors work mind to mind, using their minds to interact with yours. If the root of your problem is imprinted on your soul, talking about it has limited effect.
Shamans believe soul sickness is the origin of all mental and physical illness. They operate from the principle that your body and mind are connected to, and informed by, a third body of consciousness. It is a membrane of light that surrounds your physical body, perceiving the world independently of it. People who have technically died, but who have been brought back to life, report still being very aware of their surroundings, despite their complete loss of neural activity. They also report seeing the whole event from a position outside their body.
Have you ever wondered why, try as you might, you cannot shift your financial status from living on the edge, paycheck to paycheck? As soon as any windfall comes your way your car breaks down or your roof needs repair. One thing after another keeps tugging at that hole in your wallet, pulling through it anything that sits there for very long. While it may seem like you are cursed, sometimes this is the result of a contract you made with your soul, long ago.
Poverty vows, for example, were a common form of initiation into monastic lifestyles. By choosing a life with few material trappings the initiate is free to develop a deeper connection to Spirit. In not having to invest in the competitive ego, ever striving for success, these vows open people to humility, as they must rely upon others for survival. This brings them face to face with the benevolence of their Maker. In the streets of India you still see Sadhus dressed in saffron rags, holding out begging bowls for rice.
Many of us have profound connections to the Divine. Some people hear guides, some channel and some just “know“ things. It is brilliant and exhilarating to actually receive messages from the Divine! It is important to know the voice of your ego too, however, for your individual consciousness has a sneaky way of trying to jump in and steer that bus!
As any spiritual disciple knows, the first stumbling block on the journey to genuine connection is the individual consciousness or ego. In fact, it is probably the only real obstacle in our path. Many try to stamp out their egos, or deny them, in an attempt to make that connection clearer but the ego isn’t going anywhere! It is the part of us that oversees the day to day operations of our survival on the planet, part of the software that comes with the body. Its job is to identify with the things that will insure our success and survival. It defines itself by roles, gender, race, job, birth order, etc. It also evaluates its standing and rank in any environment in an effort to find the niche it can survive in best. In fact, when it retracts from its duties we find ourselves feeling lost and depressed.
Arrogance and Humility are two rails we use to keep ourselves locked into a reality that we feel comfortable within.
It creates a resonance, or perceptive field, we filter our life experiences through.
One balances and realigns the other, bringing us back to a center that the ego has defined as its comfort range.
When we can break down this sense of self, this need to boost ourselves up but then pull back and keep in check...
And align with our eternal essence instead...
We free ourselves from this madness
and become one with all that is.
Just as the stars light up the sky, defining it spatially, every significant place you have ever been, emotionally and karmically, defines you, telling us who you are by where you have been. Through new experiences we are given the opportunity to learn and evolve but many of us defer to our old maps because we know the territory. When we do not learn from our experiences, and transcend them, we develop themes that create little eddies in the flow of our lifetimes, little black holes on our maps that draw us in, over and over again, until we have learned their lessons. When we are caught in these vortices our lives becomes dull and fated, as if we are caught on a hamster wheel, running but going nowhere. Our souls do not come through to repeat the same old tired dance steps, however, they are driven to evolve past who we have been, into who we are becoming. They come through with a purpose, they want to align with the highest destiny they can hold.
In our Western culture we have forgotten how to die. We are more focused on youthfulness and prolonging our lives. Death is something we fear and quietly sweep into the shadows. Rather than honoring our elders for their wisdom and strengths, we shuffle them off into “assisted care” facilities at the end of their days. We pay large amounts of money to keep them alive instead of listening to their stories and facilitating their transitions so they can leave with grace and dignity.
In the shamanic traditions one of the main focuses of a high shaman’s training is to die consciously. She sees death as a transition only, as a journey between dimensions. She clears herself of the heavy energies binding her essential self to her body and practices Spirit Flight many times before she takes her final one. All of us can loosen our grips on the physical this way and we can all help someone who is dying prepare for death similarly.