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July 01, 2018

The Lonely Kingdom of Naught

Tags: Negativity, Control, Lonliness, Exile, Depression

There is a lot of power that can be derived by being contrary, critical, and well, just downright negative. When nothing is good enough, or clean enough, our discomfort, hopefully, becomes the impetus for others to change and accommodate us. It makes us right, defining us as separate from, and superior to, the flock. People who feel unworthy of love, and believe they must please another to win it, will respond accordingly. For everyone else, this is exhausting behavior to be around.

Children learn the power of the word “no” at about the age of two, when the ego starts to really form. “No, I don’t want to eat spinach,” or “No, I don’t want to go to bed yet.” It is the doorway through which they find their will, and thus define who they are as beings separate from their parents. This becomes particularly pronounced in adolescence, and is healthy in this context. People who suffer from childhood trauma, however, do not automatically step beyond this sophomoric form of “self empowerment.” They would rather anchor in to what they know, and fortify their walls with criticisms of what they don’t. There is never really any true connection here, though, as implicit within this fabricated superiority is a power differential that keeps them forever in isolation. In truth, this is really just a lonely kingdom of naught. 

As soon as we say “no," a veil drops between us and all of the advocates of the subject being negated. While boundaries are most definitely important, and are defined by “no’s,” when used excessively, no’s can create full fortresses that cut our hearts off from the world. If we have survived trauma, the body is scary, so the intellect is a safe escape. Many a critical mind, however, finds themselves backed into tiny boxes of acceptability at the expense of adventure, friendship, and love. It is so easy to aim for the ground and hit the dirt, but constant negation stands in the way of the Universal Flow. The Universe is always giving us opportunities, but if we cannot say yes to them we remain trapped within our safe, but limited ego constructs. 

If you have backed yourself into a corner by seeing the possible downturn of even situation, you become a candidate for depression. Depression is a cage of our own making. Our negative thoughts back us so far into retreat that there appears to be no way out, so we don’t get up. We stop participating, and pull back further until our own brain stops rallying us altogether. This creates so much isolation and suffering that the logical next step seems to be death. The only way out of this darkness is to find faith that there is a continuum of intelligence out there that is beyond our own limited one, and to start start saying “yes” to the opportunities it presents. You are trapped in an imploding mind. Begin by unpacking every negative thought that comes up. These internal voices start seductively by making us feel safe and superior, but they can eventually become tyrannical in nature, even bullying. Ultimately, they can cut us off from our dance with Spirit.

Stepping out of the Kingdom of Naught comes from the inside. No one but you can bust through these walls and turn this around. This fortress is an illusion, it is fear backing us up into naught. So dig in. Do your work. What old wounds need to be addressed? Get to the bottom of why you need to feel superior, what makes you need to be so right. These voices are trapping you, in you. The only way out is to surrender. You don’t have to trust people, you have to trust in something bigger! Say “yes” and let in the light!

Christina Allen, Shamanic Healer, Teacher, and Founder and Director of the Austin Shamanic Center, combines a strong science (BA Physics, MS Neuroscience) background with decades of applied ancient spiritual wisdom (Master Yogi, Reiki Master, Shamanic Healer, based, in part, on Q’ero Indian traditions of Peru). ASC offers profound Shamanic Self Development Workshops, professional trainings, and personal healings. Learn more at

© Austin All Natural, July 2018.

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