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June 01, 2019

Expansion, Integration, Contraction, Repeat.

Tags: Plant Medicine, Integration, Spiritual Enlightenment, Inner Child work

We set out for most destinations hoping to reach them directly, without inconvenience. On our spiritual journeys, however, we climb many steep aspirational mountains, hack through tangled interpersonal jungles, and descend down into the depths of our internal fog laden valleys, before we finally find the peace we are looking for. The spiritual journey is not actually one of destination, so much as it is a painstaking iterative process of refinement, the rugged but delicate unfolding of mighty wings, the pure evolution of the soul. For those of us in a time crunch, it seems to take an eternity. But that is just it, the soul knows not the limits of space and time. In fact, many believe that is why we take form, to learn from the causality of the three dimensional world. If there are no walls to bang into, no feelings to hurt, how will we develop the strengths it takes to evolve?

This is a path where we realize the expansiveness of our divinity within the limits of our humanity. In our expansive moments we open up and all is possible. We see where we have hobbled ourselves. We see our fears for what they are, simply phantoms rattling the chains of ancient thought: the fears of our ancestors, our culture, and thoughts we have put in place as children to feel safe. As we start to see through our them, and dismantle our defensiveness, all is good, all is forgiven! We are divine light, we have finally come home. It all feels so good... until it all happens again. Some event in this crazy world comes knocking at our door. We tighten and recoil, collapsing down into worry and strife again. And there we wallow, twisting and contorting, worrying, strategizing with our agendas and our tactics, until finally another opportunity for expansion occurs, and we remember who we are, as an essence, and that this cannot be destroyed or usurped. 

There are many lessons on this journey. One of the first is that we transcend our fears through our integration of them, not our negation of them. We must go though the door, not over it. These issues that arise, taking us out of expansiveness, cannot simply be buried and paved over if we are to truly hold this space of expansiveness for any length of time. We have to dig in, we have to walk down into that valley and find what keeps this little jack in the box clown alive within us. It is often a wounded child-self. If you have squelched its feelings and disregarded its perspective, it will pop up, over and over again, until it has been fully heard, healed, and integrated. Telling yourself you are an adult now, and you are done with your childhood, only works when it is true. That wounded child self is usually the one who is throwing all these fits and collapsing you into fear. We are not done until this child is done, until it can be heard, and can heal.

There does come a time when that wounded child is no longer wounded. In its purest form it transitions from needing to build fortresses to wanting to play again, and source from the deliciousness of life. True transcendence is where we a shift from the perspective of the protective and prowling cat to that of the hummingbird who survives on pure nectar. Each time we contract into fear, wounding, and grudgery, it is an opportunity to revisit the sludge at the bottom of our glasses. Know that being pulled back into this muck is not some bug failure on your part. This is a process of refinement, not perfection. When our lessons are complete, our souls will take flight. When we have arrived, it will be time to go!


Christina Allen, Shamanic Healer, Teacher, and Founder and Director of the Austin Shamanic Center, combines a strong science (BA Physics, MS Neuroscience) background with decades of applied ancient spiritual wisdom, grounded deeply in the Andean Mystical traditions of Peru. ASC offers profound Shamanic Self Development Workshops, professional trainings, and one-on-one personal healings. Learn more at

© Austin All Natural, June 2019

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