We become victims when we are unwilling to sit with the discomfort of feelings that are coming up in us because of a situation we are in. It is easier to transmute the discomfort of vulnerability into blame or anger and redirect it at something outside of us.
The indisputable part of our story is our pain.
Emotions are the weather system of the soul. To have them is not shameful. We are designed to feel. A whole part of our brain, the limbic brain, is dedicated to producing emotional states of consciousness. Someone who is expressing emotion does not need to be "fixed" so that we can FEEL more comfortable and less helpless. This objectifies them and creates a power differential. They need, instead, to be met where they are, seen and held in our hearts....
When we remember that nothing is truly personal we stay out of victim thinking. No one is doing anything to us, we are just experiencing their reactions to their environment, which we may be a part of. They may even mean their reactions as personal but it has way more to do with them, their history and imprints, than it has to do with us.
Will you be caught in the vortex of someone else's projections, and play your part because you love them or cannot bear to defy them, or can you find a stillness to stand in, waiting until the storm passes, and stay true to who you came here to be?
Isn't it interesting that in our language we 'are' our emotions? We say we are happy, sad, angry, jealous, joyful.... In other languages we say instead that we 'have' these emotions... I have sadness... Emotions are transitory feedback, reactions to our environment or circumstances. Are we them or are we just experiencing them