November 12, 2013
What You Deserve
Reflecting on the concept of deserving... My question is this, Who is keeping score? Who decides if in fact we do deserve something or not?! The whole concept of deserving is based entirely on a tally our ego keeps. None of it is real. We all deserve the moon! It reminds me of the concept that if we are good we will go to heaven. The rewards for living a good life are a good life, not some external pat on the back. And if we do deserve something... that implies someone else may not... What is that about?!
"No, I am sorry, you cannot have that... you do not deserve it"??? WTH?! Are we in kindergarten here?
And what if we 'don't deserve' something... He 'didn't deserve to be treated that way'... Again, who is keeping score? Stuff happens... the concept of deserving it makes it personal when in fact the unfolding of the universe is... just that... There is nothing personal about it.
October 30, 2013
The Withholder’s Drama
The Withholder's power lies in the drama WE create in response to their withdrawal. Our reaction, in their minds, then further justifies their actions. Can you resist the bait of taking their actions personally? Do you really need to indulge in high drama...? Usually when we do, abandonment and rejection are part of our old stories. When we do our personal work around these issues then a Withholder is just that... someone left standing there holding onto the ball they took out of play.
October 27, 2013
Dealing With Shadow Elements In Another
Reflecting on how to navigate the emotions that arise when dealing with another person's shadow actions. We all have things we cannot see in shadow, things that, if they are not brought to light, can come out and nip at others when we least expect it. Being on the receiving end can hurt and/or make us angry, but often the other person does not even know they are doing it. Forgiveness, compassion and gratitude are the high vibration emotions that take us out of defensive positions and put us in that more mythic, Hummingbird state, allowing us to rise out of the muck of being hurt. An eye-for-an-eye begets another eye... Compassion, for you know you have done it too... and Forgiveness, allow us to drop it and move into neutrality and joy again.
October 22, 2013
Making Friends With The Ego
Thinking about ego this morning and how to embrace it. Some people misguidedly think if they suppress their ego, knock it down and sit on it, they are being more spiritually "advanced," which is really the ego's backhanded way of coming out on top again... The ego has an agenda, to succeed, to survive, to be number one. We all have one. It isn't going away... It is the one who gets us up in the morning and says "let's do this again!" Instead of squashing this voice and have it become some kind of demon lurking in the shadows we want to embrace it... listen to it like we listen to a two year old. Love it. Thank it... and not act on its voice until we know where our actions are truly coming from.
October 18, 2013
Loyalty And Selfishness
Thinking about the Q'ero word "ayni" today and how that relates to loyalty. Ayni means right-relationship, harmony or balance... When we are loyal to others, over ourselves, when we are more concerned about their hurt feelings than being true to ourselves, we are not in ayni. There is a difference between being loyal to one's self and being selfish. Selfishness is usually rooted in fear and scarcity. It comes from a sense of lack...Loyalty to self is listening to your higher self, the intuitive part looking out for your highest good.
As much as we think we are being honorable and selfless by putting another's feelings first, we hurt ourselves when we do not honor our inner voices first. Our Judeo-Christian ethos is based on martyrdom so putting our voices and needs aside to please another "feels" like the right thing to do... But ultimately we are telling ourselves "You are less important that this other person." You are not!!
October 08, 2013
The “Accidental Victim”
I'm looking at our tendency to place blame and to feel guilt this morning. When things go off course from our neat and tidy plans, or when there is an "accident," we want someone to be responsible for it. It brings up primal fears about our ability to survive in an unpredictable world. We want to find fault. We want to blame someone so we can place our emotions about the disruption someplace. Or perhaps we feel guilty that we "let" let it happen, meaning we blame ourselves. The truth is, S*** happens. Usually it happens to wake us up and make us look at what is out of alignment, or to change our intended course in some way. All of that emotion, directed outward or inward, takes the form of anger as blame. It creates gulfs between people in crisis when they could be bonding over it. Can you let yourself feel the uneasiness of the situation without couching it in "blame"? Do you need to direct those emotions somewhere or can you sit with the discomfort of them?!
September 28, 2013
What Exactly Are You Communicating?
Meditations on Words...
Words are what set us apart from other living things, our ability to communicate verbally. Some words, like food, have the flavor and nutrients that make us thrive while others bite and burn and bring us down. People hear what we say and they hear what we don't say. In language the omissions and tone say at least as much as the words we have chosen. So often we use our words unconsciously without considering their effect. We withhold words of praise and dish out the jabs and jeers. Sometimes we justify this in the guise of humor. But if it stings, it is something else. Humor at the expense of someone, even ourselves, is a mild form of sorcery.
September 24, 2013
Is It Really Someone Else that Loves us?
The consciousness of love runs through us as a continuum, like an ever flowing river to the sea... but we chop it up and attribute it to individuals. We think when those individuals leave us the love stops. The illusion is that it came from those individuals. It "came" by our opening our hearts to them and letting it flow through us.
It is always there to flow through us if we let it. So often we hold back. So often we nip and bite at, we criticize and blame the ones who love us so as not to be disappointed, hurt or controlled by them. When we do this it is we who cut ourselves off from that river... and we who create the illusion of isolation. We then look for it someplace else... when where we need to look is inside.
September 17, 2013
Colluding With Violence
I saw a strange thing yesterday: A young guy in a Mustang whipped around a corner and hit a middle age guy in an SUV. The SUV, however, was straddling both lanes of a narrow passageway so technically he was at fault for being in the wrong lane. It was all fender bender kind of damage but adrenaline does strange things...The SUV driver came steaming out of the SUV yelling and screaming into the face of the young Mustang driver... The young guy started crying and apologizing, in total shock. He seemed totally convinced he was in the wrong... It made me think about how often we collude with bullies and people who are angry because we are so rattled by their violence.
September 15, 2013
We Are Not Our Our Brother’s Judgments
People judge. It is the intellect's way of protecting itself from threatening or uncomfortable situations. As we awaken we learn to step back from judgement and use discernment instead. Discernment is different from judgement in that there is not an emotionally based classification made, there is just a yes/no evaluation. Yes that feels like the right thing to do, no I don't resonate with that person. We cannot make others stop judging us but we can be comfortable enough with ourselves to not collude with other people's opinions of us. Judgements are not personal, they are made from within the mind of a person evaluating the safety of their environment based on their lifetime of experiences. They have everything to do with the perceiver and very little to do with the perceived. When we collude with their judgements we can lose sight of our uniqueness and strengths and feel the lessor. This often stops us from standing in our light and pushing through our fears. We cannot stop people from judging but we can choose to hold true to ourselves and maintain our course.
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