August 01, 2017
The Liar’s Shame
There are truths we just do not want to speak aloud. Sometimes we think they will hurt someone, so we lie. Other times we do not want to face the consequences of an action we took, or who we are for taking it. Alternatively, we want something, like a job or a date, and we aren’t going to get it if we tell the truth. And then there is the lying by omission, things we don’t admit to, to keep the peace. “Speaking your truth,” is more about finally expressing an opinion than it is negating the truth. This is about honesty. While some lies are white, others grey, some lies are bold faced black lies. Whatever the color is, it creates shame within you to tell it. Like clouds of yellow smoke, this shame sits between you, and yourself, tarnishing your honor.
Telling the truth takes courage. People’s feelings might get hurt, or we might not look good. We may tell ourselves we will tell the them the truth later when they, or we, are stronger and can handle it. Bonding, however, occurs through having true and authentic exchanges. When we lie to someone so they will still love us, or feel better about us, we can no longer trust in that love. It is a reality braced by the scaffolding of lies. We want a person who accepts who we truly are, warts and all.