July 01, 2016
Looking For Love
Looking for that ultimate soulmate, someone who loves you unconditionally, even the darkest bits you so skillfully tuck away? This is the goal of a lifetime for many. When we find it we feel we are finally “home.” So often, however, this perfect relationship takes a turn in the night. Studies show this often happens about 18 months in. Something happens. Someone pulls back or starts trying to control the other, temperaments wear or a job takes front seat. Illnesses set in or our needs go unmet. Judgments flare and we polarize, pulling back. This, however, is when the real journey to finding unconditional love begins!
The hardest thing to accept is that this disharmony has everything to do with you! Whatever the other person is seemingly doing wrong, you see it through your filters and react to it based on your experiences from the past. We… are creating half of the dynamic. A person may be unavailable for some reason, perhaps because they are overwhelmed or because they are are distracted by an obligation. Their pulling away may have nothing to do with you… or it may be in reaction to you, but because it has happened so many times in your life before, you react in anger. How dare they abandon you? What is most interesting is that the other person is reacting to your actions through their filters too.