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June 01, 2016

The Perfectionist’s Trap

Tags: Perfectionism, Individuality, Uniqueness, Acceptance, Shadow, Creativity

You see it in the fine print of advertisements, the subliminal messaging that there is a state of perfection that you have yet to achieve. It may be your looks, your ability to earn, your social status or even your health but something is amiss, and until you fix it, expect to hide in shame.

Many of us are indoctrinated into this belief system by parents who know that part of mastering their own drive for perfection is having the perfect child. You were marched into formation and asked to tow the line, given rules to live by and standards to achieve. In the process, however, you rejected the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect. When we put our imperfections in shadow we can only see them externally, in our judgements and pity of others. Many, ironically, try to overcome these divisions by helping others change to their ideal.


August 07, 2015

Relationships from the Heart

Tags: Perfection, authentic relationships, forgiveness, apology, perfection

A true relationship, based on heart and soul, means showing up in all our imperfection and being open to seeing the same in another.
It means taking responsibility for our moments of weakness...
And putting down the shield of perfection and and the sword of expectation
in exchange for the apologies
and forgiveness
that come from erring.

We cannot connect deeply through our illusions and facades.
Real relationships are built on a foundation of trust.
True relationships invite our shadows to the table so they can be seen...
And forgiven.


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