September 08, 2013
Transferring Blame
We become victims when we are unwilling to sit with the discomfort of feelings that are coming up in us because of a situation we are in. It is easier to transmute the discomfort of vulnerability into blame or anger and redirect it at something outside of us.
The indisputable part of our story is our pain.
When we can sit with the hurt and feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, powerless, weak, etc., owning these feelings and releasing them in ceremony, instead of creating a defense strategy for dumping them onto someone else in blame (becoming the perpetrator) or repackaging them into a story that creates sympathy (calling in the rescuers), we take full responsibility for our emotional environment.
Things that happen to us are not personal, they are part of the whole cosmic spiral of destinies colliding and unfolding... but we often take them personally.
The truth is just that we hurt.
When we can own the hurt and process it, sooth the ripples... and resist the seduction of story and drama, we take responsibility for our part in creating a world of peace rather than contributing to the old paradigm of victims, rescuers and perpetrators.